After chatting over coffee they came back to the office to find that Yasmeen had arrived. Bernice had arranged with her that she would be there that afternoon for the first editorial meeting, using part of her remaining holidays. As she introduced Yasmeen to the rest of the team, she noted with some annoyance that she was rather displeased by the light that came into Chris's eyes as they shook hands. Yasmeen showed no similar response.
Bernice had arranged for Martin to come in to start the meeting off. Although he had met all of the staff with the exception of Chris, she thought it would be useful for him to say a few words to pass on management's view of their endeavour. When he arrived at 1.30, she introduced him to Chris. It was interesting to see the two size each other up. How primitive men are, thought Bernice again. She could see Martin almost visibly puffing out his chest, the lead primate in the group, his position established but by no means irreversible. Chris on the other hand, knowing that he ranked lower, smiled a smile that seemed to express all his advantages of youth compared with this middle-aged man, and hint at the possibility of one day supplanting him. In truth, Martin was particularly annoyed to see this obviously handsome young man in Bernice's office: George, Dave, Wobs and Terence - though the last to a lesser extent - hardly figured as challenges to his male supremacy. But in Chris he recognised a formidable rival, however lowly he might be in the corporate hierarchy. Martin knew well that desire is no great respecter of official demarcations.
So it was with a faint residual feeling of irritation that Martin began his short speech - largely unprepared, but one that he had made many times before in slightly different forms.
"Well," he said, as he surveyed the editorial team looking up at him as he stood in their midst. "I don't want to waste your time this afternoon making long pompous speeches. I know as well as you do how precious that time is: we have a steep deadline to meet.
But it is at moments like this that I like to think of another venture, apparently very different from ours, but in many ways surprisingly similar." Oh no, thought Bernice, he's not going to, is he?
"When Cortes - " yes, he was " - found himself on the coast of Mexico with just 550 men and the might of the Aztec empire before him, he might have been tempted to give up. Or later on, when he lost many of those men, and was trapped within the very citadel of Mexico City, surrounded by a half a million warriors. But no: he believed in himself, and in the task before him. He was a great leader, one able to carry with him even the sceptics among his men, to enable them to endure privations, hardship, hunger, suffering. He could even literally burn all his boats - their one hope of escape back to Spain - and still keep their spirits up.
It is with this indomitability" - how he loved that word, how it seemed to sum up everything about Cortes - "in mind that I would like to baptise our endeavour Operation Cortes. For we too find ourselves facing apparently insuperable odds. Business Monthly, as you know, is an immensely powerful and respected publication. But, like the Aztec empire, I believe that it is also ripe for conquest.
So do not be disheartened by the task that lies before you: it can be done, and together I am sure that you will do. Of one thing you can rest assured: unlike Cortes, who found himself at loggerheads with the Court of Spain and its representatives in the West Indies, you have my and my superiors' full support. We are behind you every inch of the way. Thank you."
Should they clap? wondered Chris who was not use to this kind of pep-talk. Dave had no doubts: he groaned quietly at the metaphor, and flinched at the rhetoric. Bernice stepped in.
"Right, great, thanks, Martin. Has anyone got any questions?" she asked, hoping that they hadn't.
"What kind of research back-up will we have?" asked Yasmeen.
"Glad you asked about that," said Martin. "We are carrying out a full in-depth survey of the sector" - Tim Phipps in marketing was reading a few rival magazines - "and we will be presenting the results to you soon."
"How long will the company support the title in the face of losses?" asked Pete.
"Well, I don't think we should focus on the negative aspects of the situation, but I can say that the company will support the title as long as is necessary for its success."
Hah, thought Dave, the company's success, that is.
"Will there be national advertising when we are launched?" asked Chris, who rather liked the idea of 'his' magazine being famous. He also thought it might be sensible to ask a soft question: wanting to be noticed, but not wanting to earn any black marks.
"Yes, certainly, though this is something I'd rather leave to Tim to tell you about when he briefs you on the promotional plans."
Bernice found it interesting to see Martin in publisher mode, particularly the way he ducked and weaved in and out of the awkward questions. She had always assumed that the ability to do so was one of the prerequisites for being a publisher - and one reason why she could never be one.
"Well, if there are no more questions," said Martin, and then went on before anyone else had a chance to ask one, "I'll let you get on with things. Thanks for the opportunity to chat to your people," he said to Bernice moving to the door, as if she had granted him this singular honour.
"Right," she said after Martin had left, "I hope that that's clarified everything." She tried to tread the delicate line between being disloyal to Martin and being overly stuffy. People smiled.
"Sorry if I'm being a bit thick," said Chris, "but could somebody explain all that Aztec stuff? I didn't really get the relevance...."
Full points for honesty, thought Bernice.
"Good question; I suppose it's a kind of metaphor, an allegory if you like," she answered.
"Obsession, you mean," chipped in Dave. "Like all of us, he has a dream..." he said mysteriously.
"Anyway," continued Bernice, hoping to get back to the main issue, "what I'd like to do now is provide you with a kind of conceptual framework - no, that sounds to pompous - with some background, that will help us work together to produce a unified product. Because the important thing to remember is that everything in this book - the style, the design, the choice of news and features, the cover, the headlines - everything must speak directly to the reader and reinforce their belief in us. After all, we are asking for something very precious: their time and their trust. We must always repay that with our effort and honesty.
OK, I could witter on like this for hours, but to give you l what I hope is a succinct idea of The Business, I'd like to read to you the editorial I've written for the dummy and first issue. Don't worry, I won't make a habit of this, though it is worth noting that this is an excellent way to test prose. Things that look fine on paper often show their true colours when you read them out aloud and find that they sound absurd. I recommend that you try it. Anywhere, here goes.
Welcome to The Business. The Business is your business, whatever that might be. Because The Business is about what it is like to work in business today, whether you are a member of staff, middle manager or senior director. It is not about high-flying yuppies or mind-boggling mergers: it is about the Monday-to-Friday world that most of us live in, and yet which has remained strangely invisible.
Until now. Because every month The Business will be bringing you articles that look at the reality of business in Britain today. It will explain the truth about company structures and analyse what makes your bosses and their bosses tick. It will reveal the hidden forces that shape the business of business today.
But it will do more: it will provide you with practical help in negotiating the obstacle course of modern business life. Every issue will have tips for making life easier and more enjoyable in the office; ways of saving yourself and the company you work for money; real-life stories of how the other half - us - lives, and regular case studies looking at what makes an office a successful environment, and what can make it hell.
To do that we need your help. We want you, the reader, to be an active partner - through your stories, your advice to fellow workers, and comments to us. Because we want you to tell us what we can do to make your office life better, to make The Business better.
And remember, business is not just where you go during the day: it is where you will spend most of your waking hours. Get more out of those hours - or even pass less of them in the office - by reading The Business - the magazine for the rest of us - every month. Because your business is our business.Chris had no hesitation in applauding now, and Janice joined in immediately, followed by Yasmeen, Wobs, Kate and Pete. Only George and Dave resisted the urge.
"Could do with some subbing," observed Kate as if to mitigate her enthusiasm.
"Make a good ad," observed Dave cuttingly, and Bernice knew that he was right.
"Well, it's really just to give you all an idea of what I'm trying to get at," she said hurriedly, feeling rather strange and vulnerable as she exposed her writing and herself to criticism in this way - something that few editors ever had or dared to do. "Obviously I'll be expanding on the key ideas over the next few weeks. But let's get down to some specifics for the moment.
First of all press releases. These are the life-blood of a magazine. They are not a substitute for working your beat, but they can often act as useful triggers and can help you avoid embarrassing gaffes or glaring omissions."
Bernice then when on to outline the process for dealing with press releases, plus the setting up of an appointments book for external meetings, interviews, press conferences etc, so that everyone knew where everyone was.
"Next, newspapers. We need to read all the main ones every day, so I've arranged for them to be delivered to us. And on the basis of RHIP - "
"Sorry?" said Chris.
"Rank Has Its Privileges," Bernice explained, "I will take The Guardian. Any offers for the rest?"
"FT please," said Yasmeen.
"Telegraph is my preferred daily," said George.
"Er, Times?" said Chris wondering if this was some kind of test.
" - Congratulations," said Bernice as if he had won the jackpot, "you also get the Sunday Times."
With characteristic gracelessness Dave said that he'd take The Independent if no one else was going to - and promptly received The Observer from Bernice as well.
"Right, as far as mags go, we must all try to read the oppo as much as possible." Kate groaned. "Yes, I know that Business Management - or BuM as I prefer to think of it - is dull, dull, dull."
" - Especially its BOMs," added Kate.
"Who?" said Janice, intrigued by all these new concepts - BuMs, BOMs....
"Boring Old Men," said Kate. "You know, the interviews they do with the same White, Male, Senile Bosses who trot out the same cheery platitudes - completely faceless and uninteresting - BOMs, in other words."
"That's as may be," said Bernice, delighted that Kate was stirring things up a little, "but it is vital that we keep an eye on what they are doing - and who knows? - they may even have some gem buried deep in the copy one day that we can use. And remember, there's no room for false pride in this game: if someone comes up with a neat trick, nick it quick," - she was beginning to sound like her diary's Thought for the Day.
"OK," concluded Bernice, "BuM's for everyone, so to speak. Plus the other usual suspects" - she suggested a few among the myriad business titles serving the market, all with confusingly similar names - "and generally keep your ears and eyes open - you never know where you might come across an idea for a good story." People jotted down various notes and reminders.
"Right, now on to features and columns. I'm currently massaging a few big names to write some columns for us - " she mentioned some leading figures in British industry " - you know, 'My Rivetting Day in the Office' kind of stuff."
"How on earth can you hope to pay them enough to write for us?" Asked Yasmeen.
"I can't - so I won't try," answered Bernice. "But you see, I have this theory that we all have various buttons: once you find the right button and press it, you can obtain some pretty amazing results. Getting nominal hot-shots - who, in actual fact, know little more than we do, but are simply better-known - "
"And better paid," chimed in Pete.
" - quite, so getting them to write for us is just a matter of sitting down with some background on them and finding what look like the buttons. However, this takes a little bit of time, so for the first issue, I'm afraid it's going to be all our stuff."
"Won't that look at little desperate?" asked Kate.
"Absolutely," said Bernice. "So what we going to do is cheat - well, only slightly. I want all of the writers to come up with a plausible pseudonym that we can use in the magazine to leaven things slightly. Anyone got any ideas?"
"Paul Templeton," said Chris, who liked these kinds of games.
"Sounds real," said Bernice.
"It should be, he's my godfather."
"Fine. Next?"
"Elaine Sinder," said Pete.
"Interesting choice, any reason?" asked Bernice, intrigued.
"Well, my wife's name..." said Pete.
"OK. Anyone else?"
"Eyam Shah," said Yasmeen, her eyes twinkling.
"Nice," said Bernice.
"Like it," added Chris, quite unnecessarily, thought Bernice.
Neither Dave nor George were volunteering, but since Bernice suspected their contribution to the first issue was like to be quite limited, she was not too worried.
"And what about yours?" asked Chris.
"Mine? Well, following Pete's example, I think a little transsexual activity is called for here. So, true to my Scottish origins I'll go for 'John McTaggart'" said Bernice.
"Sounds very authoritative," said Chris.
She made a mock bow to Chris in thanks.
"Right, finally, features ideas. I have one or two suggestions but I'd like everyone to put their thinking caps on and come up with ideas. Remember the kind of audience we going for, and that we're trying to make life easier for them. And more fun: don't get too solemn, even if it's a serious subject. Remember that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down etc."
"Pyramids," George suddenly said.
"Er, sorry, George?" said Bernice.
"Pyramids, we really must do something about the damn pyramids," he said, his face strangely set.
"More relevant to a travel magazine, I would have thought," smirked Chris, but Bernice was not laughing.
"What exactly do you mean, George?" she asked.
"Pyramid selling - you know, selling useless things to your family and friends. It's a curse," George said.
"Well, I think we'd all agree with that, but it's probably a bit marginal for our audience," said Bernice, trying to deflect George as gently as she could.
"Marginal? Marginal?!?" George was appalled.
"Well, I'll have another think and we'll talk about it later, OK?" Bernice said, anxious to defuse the situation.
"If you want to write about pyramids, George, you could always look at freemasonry in business - that's certainly not marginal in business..." suggested Mowley only half joking. George harrumphed and said nothing.
"Right, anyway," said Bernice, trying to restore some of the sense of purpose she had engendered and which was now in danger of being dissipated. "I'll leave you all to come up with ideas for features, columns, news - whatever. One final thing before I let you do some real work. Without wanting to make any references to Spanish Conquistadors, I would just like to echo slightly Martin's point: however crazy it looks, we are going to do this, and it's going to be great.
Many people think that magazines are just second-best newspapers: don't believe a word of it. Magazines are where the action is: in fact if you look at newspapers today, they are becoming more and more like daily magazines. No, we are in the right place and at the right time. Believe me, with The Business we are really going to do the business."
"Eat your heart out Citizen Kane," commented Dave in the thoughtful silence that followed, but this time he was grinning with approval.
